photo dump: January to August 2k15

I've missed this blog so much over the past few months. I've wanted to post something so many times, but I haven't known what to say. This post is to get me back into the swing of things and also update you all on my life. Which has been very up and down.

A lot of these photos are from my phone. I haven't been taking my DSLR out as much these days. :(

Summer trip to Wattamolla, Jan 2015. Friend's dog. Shot on Diana 120 Earl Grey film.

Met Sophie, the love of my life. (She's a car.) March 2015.

Was obsessed with the song "Cheerleader" for quite a while.

Was put in charge of wrapping a friend's birthday present. Nailed it. July 2015.

Splendour in the Grass, July 2015.

Awesome people. July 2015.

Colouring-in fun times. Necessary for woeful days. And happy days. And days inbetween. August 2015.

Yours truly, being fabulous. July/August 2015.

I hope posting this cures my woes. They are manyfold. Complex manyfold woes. That's my life. Adios, amigos. Let's hold a prayer circle for my hasty return to the bloggersphere.

things i want to tell you

I miss the fuck out of you. I miss your dumb hair and the way you wear too much cologne. I can smell you coming, I swear I can. I miss your idiotic humour and the way you say "oh riiiight" and the way your laugh gets louder as you finally get the joke. I miss the tiny little piece of budge on your belly.

I miss the time we walked around Costco holding hands and shopping for mundane things like pasta and shaving cream. I miss the time we kissed on the big tyre swing in the park at 2am. I miss the way you'd place your hand on my knee while you drove, making fun of the bits of bone sticking out. I miss the time we accidentally drove to the hunter valley. I miss the way you'd call me dumb nicknames just to annoy me and laugh when I responded to them. I miss being able to message you random thoughts.

I want to know why you bought fifteen coat hangers today. I want to ask if you saw that I liked that photo on Facebook - the one of the different kinds of durian. I want to know if you've been sleeping well or if uni stress is keeping you up. I want to know what you had for breakfast, if you're having a decent day, and whether I hurt you at all. I also really want to show you my minion collection.

I want to say I'm sorry for freaking out on you. For the cold stare I gave you today when you tried to hug me. I did what I did out of hurt, not hate. I want you to talk to me. Not a casual "hey what's up" as you pass me, but really talk about what happened and how it is we crash landed before we even took off.

I want you. Any piece of you. I'll be your lover, your fighter, your friend. I'll be your coworker, your acquaintance, or even somebody you used to know. I'll take anything you give me.

You're a shining star that sometimes hurts to look at.

I fucking love you.

If only I could tell you that.

thought catalog: good morning, beautiful.

Hi, friends. It has been a long time. Life has been kicking my arse lately. I'm finding it incredibly difficult to put my feelings into words but I know I need to get back to blogging. So while I'm pondering the depth of my emotions, read this. Many of us need to.

There’s a particular way you laugh that can make an entire room light up, if only for a moment in time. There is a way you tilt your head when you are concentrating that makes you look unbearably kissable – as if you were placed on this earth only to stare at things and frown in the most endearing form humanely possible. There is a noise you make when you are falling asleep – a soft, almost inaudible sigh that sounds like the ethereal embodiment of all that is tranquil and calm. There are a thousand minute intricacies that make up the tapestry of who you are and not a single one has ceased to exist since the last time that somebody loved you.

"Read This If Nobody Texted You Good Morning" by Heidi Priebe. Full article here.

trippin' the light fantastic

In my last post I mentioned that some of my lovely friends had pitched together and bought me a film camera for my birthday. My Lomography Diana F+ is beautiful (it feels so weird to spell my name like that ahahaha!). As it turns out, to the suprise of probably nobody who isn't me, shooting film is really fucking difficult. But I'm learning and I'm determined to share my filmy adventures with you on this blog.

(1) kitty paws (2-3) bedroom mess - with purple flash filter! (4) box of sparkle.

My first roll (above) consisted of sixteen photos, and out of that these four were the only ones that didn't look like a mess of black nonsense. Whoops? Evidently I'm not very good at knowing when to stop turning the wheel. My friend has a Diana F+ mini and on hers the wheel stops turning automatically so she doesn't have that problem. But as you'll see below, I'm improving.

(1-6) the beautiful people @ the grounds of alexandria, sydney

My second roll wasn't nearly as horrible as my first. Lesson: embrace the flash. I'm so used to ignoring the flash on my DSLR so I had the urge to ignore the flash on my Diana as well, but it really does make a difference.

I'm currently partway through a roll of black and white "Earl Grey" film and I'm pretty excited to see how that one turns out. I'll be sure to share it here. :)

Side note: Over the new year I was at a music festival getting sunburnt and drinking schnapps out of sneakily-resealed fruit tubs (as you do). I almost took this camera with me but in the end I'm glad I didn't since I ended up coming home minus an iPhone. LE SAD. I took my Instax camera to the festival so I do have some photos, but there were a lotlotlot on my phone which is what upsets me the most. However, the festival people are sorting through the lost property tomorrow, so there is still hope! I'm going to hold off on posting the festival photos just incase my phone does show up. HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYONE! xox

currently (re)watching: queer as folk
currently reading: fanfic. it cheers me up okay.
currently listening to: ball park music & sylvan esso ♥