let it go

There is something so utterly calming about minimalism. I often fall to sleep dreaming of a white-walled room containing a bed, fluffy white blankets and little else. The less stuff you own, the less your stuff owns you. I do have a habit of collecting odds and ends wherever I go, but I'm slightly proud and slightly horrified to reveal that I'm also pretty damn good at throwing things away.

When I was a child, let's say about seven or eight, maybe, I decided to practice a fire drill. At home. Because, you know, I'm such a cool kid. When the orange flames began licking at the edges of my imagination, I bundled up my precious junk and stopped, dropped and rolled it out into my backyard. There, I relaxed on the damn grass, far from any fiery smoke. But to my horror, I had left something behind. "You can't go back in," my mum said. "The building's on fire." And thus began my obsession with minimising my possessions. I live in fear of the day I realise I've left something precious behind. So I try not to get too attached to physical objects. People and memories are enough.

I'm trying to declutter my life. But as a student with too many textbooks and clothes and crafty bits and pieces, it's difficult. So I like to plan. In an ideal world, I'd have a white apartment with only necessities. That dream is a fair way off, but I collect ideas anyway. This is what my perfect apartment would be like:

I do miss that scratch-n-sniff t-shirt I had when I was thirteen. But let's be honest, it wouldn't fit me anymore. And the memory of it is so much better than the actual shirt ever was.

So give it a try. Take a deep breath. And let it go.

not my photos: can be found here on my pinterest board. lmk if one of these is yours.

glitter in her veins.

I quite like sparkly things. This should come as a surprise to precisely nobody who has ever met me. Tonight, in the midst of a bubble of sadness, I bought a glittery bra and matching underwear. It cheered me up immensely. I don't even think it was the act of buying - it was the thought of coming home and setting out my sparkly things on my desk, taking photos of it all and blogging about it. Then changing into said sparkles and prancing about my room while Mermaids plays in the background. Who ever said my Friday nights are dull?

Loving something as typically 'girly' as sparkles is pretty unusual for me. I'm really not a "girly girl". When I was about sixteen or seventeen I went through a phase where I refused to associate myself with the colour pink. Why? I figured out it was because typically feminine and I hated the fact that a colour could become so ingrained with a gender. (I had just discovered the world of university-level cultural studies. Forgive me.) Now, why was that ridiculously dumb? Because refusing to associate with pink on that basis only reiterates the stereotype. Think about it: I disliked pink because it meant "girl". I thought that accepting pink as a decent colour would make me horribly girly and feminine. Thus I separated myself from the colour in order to show my lack of girliness. Which only served to reinforce pink as a girly colour. I REFUSED TO ASSOCIATE WITH A COLOUR. WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL IS MY LIFE. Let's be honest now, pink is a lovely colour, especially in the sky! What did pink ever do to me?

I'm over my immature colour-hating. Life's too short for that. I'm not saying I own many pink clothes, but I will paint my fingernails a lovely pastel shade every once in a while. In between excessive shades of glitter, I might add.

What's your sparkly weakness?

currently watching: Mermaids (1990) - favourite cheer-up movie of all time.
currently (re)reading: a hell of a lot of One Direction fanfic.
currently listening to: loving my sad songs playlist at the moment.