slow down, you're moving too fast.


I miss this person.

She had things figured out - a hell of a lot more than I do. She knew what she liked, she knew what she didn't. She still believed in things and she had a beautiful and easy smile. Happiness came easy for her. And when it didn't, she got over it. She was never ashamed of who she was. She could make some pretty great scrambled eggs and was so close to doing the splits. She had high hopes for life - not necessarily knowing where she'd go and what she'd do but she knew she'd be okay. She was also pretty damn skinny but didn't care about her image in the slightest. She was incredible. And the saddest part is that she never knew.

(Photo was taken in 2005, presumably by my mother, on the day of my primary school graduation when I was twelve.)

13 comments:

  1. Can totally relate :(

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  2. you're still incredible <3

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  3. <3

    I have been chatting to a friend in relation to this post and she reminded me of this: "When your past calls, don't answer. It has nothing new to say." <3

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  4. Thank you, sweet pea. I guess the irony is that this version of me doesn't know it, either!

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  5. That's a great quote. I'm usually living in the future but recently I've been looking to the past a lot to figure out stuff about my dad and that's been good because I've learned a lot and answered some of my questions. But the problem is all of that is making me feel really stuck at the moment.

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  6. I'm sure you'll find your way eventually. <3 But I'm glad you found some answers. Hang in there!

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  7. oh sweetie, regardless of what you think, you're still incredible to me today, and will continue to be incredible <3 don't you ever forget that.

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  8. I spent years feeling exactly like what you have described. I pretty much just gave up and sat around the house for a few years and worked I job I hated. For me, I was lucky and got forced out of that due to some circumstances and, even though it sucked at the time, it really turned things around for me.

    One thing I've learned is that it's so hard to see the good things in the present when you're surrounded by so many problems. I look back and see all the good things I experienced and learned, but was completely blind to at the time. Now I can see how it all linked together and, as terrible as it was at the time, actually helped me out a lot in the present. I've spent a lot of time looking after a very sick friend of mine which I'm sure I wouldn't have been able to do unless I went through all the stuff I went through and could then relate to her.

    As weird as it sounds, I'm actually thankful I had those terrible few years because it gave me what I needed to help a friend. I guess I'm saying that you never know what the future might bring, so treat difficulties as challenges rather than obstacles. It's ok to not always know where you're going, as long as you take advantage of the opportunities around you in the mean time. Who knows where something might lead.

    I've seen from your other posts that you like to run, which is fantastic! It's amazing how much better getting outside can make you feel. Hanging out with friends can do wonders for mood too. I know how hard it can be, but don't give up!



    Sorry for such a long comment.


    Oh, and you should try doing the splits again! :)

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  9. <3333333 can I come to Cali and hug you? And then run around Disneyland? That'd be nice k thanks <3

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  10. Don't be sorry! I like it! :)
    When you put it like that, it sounds so reasonable. And I guess I do know that I have things pretty good, but sometimes I just get so caught up in nostalgia.
    And I suppose the not knowing is the exciting part! Who knows where I could be in another eight years.
    I shall try! :)

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  11. I know things will work out for you eventually, it's just a question of when!

    Grab opportunities as they come by. I don't know if it's the same for you, but the hardest part for me was choosing to say "Yes, I'll do that" to something when my fears and depression were holding me back. Once I started saying yes, things slowly began to get better.

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  12. <3


    I have actually started saying yes to more things lately and it is pretty great. Hopefully this will continue!

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  13. That's awesome. I hope things continue to get better for you. :)

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