my eyes can't look at you any other way.


see this photo on flickr

I tried. I fucking tried to be able to write personal things in a public sphere but then viewers happened and MPS labelled me as a "photography blog" and I don't know how the fuck I feel about that to be quite honest. The recognition is wonderful and flattering but it feels a bit like I'm being boxed in and I have to stick to what I started with. And I haaaate the thought of that. So tonight, instead of flicking through the bunch of semi-narcissistic photos I took earlier today and posting them online, I merely copied and pasted a quote from an old tumblr post that hints at the things I'm feeling. God, this feels terrible. I have so much to say and yet I feel like I can't! The situation is not helped by the fact that earlier I was browsing "how to be a successful blogger" type articles and they were all about having a clear topic and niche and being constant and consistent and FUCK THAT SHIT to be quite honest with you. And to make things even worse, I maybe might have mentioned my blog to my mum and brother who were very curious and BLAH WHY DID I DO THAT. (We were driving up the freeway. There was a moment of quiet. Seemed like it wanted to be filled with natter.)

Anyway, want to know my opinion? (Yes, you do. Shut up.) This is how you become a successful blogger: you blog. (There is no step two!) And if you're defining "successful" as famous and revenue-generating and fashionable and trendy then HAHAHAHA at you. I'd consider my blog beyond successful if I posted here frequently for at least a year without needing to hold back.

I have been thinking about it. All the competition and view count thingies has me too stressed. So fuck it. I don't need to be famous or popular. I'm totally fine with the fact that the only people who comment on my posts are people I've paid to read them (LOL jk jk jk, I merely battered my eyelashes at them). Being popular really isn't my thing. Chasing ~internet fame? Wow. I'm blogging because I love it and because it's a helpful creative outlet for my moods. And if I inspire you in some way? Great! I'm happy for you! But let me be clear: this blog is for me, not you. Don't you dare try to push me in a corner.

(I'm a photographer but I'm also a writer and a damn person with feelings and ideas and I'm not going to try and separate those parts of me just for the sake of internet popularity.)

Subtext: I'm moody and grumpy and sad about my dead cat and I took a double dose of medication because I forgot the other day (whoops) so my head is like a circus right now.

14 comments:

  1. Oh my goodness, Dinah I have so much respect for you right now. This all what blogging is about. I agree with Michelle, you preach it. We're not just girls behind their computers typing up words to appeal to an audience, but we're doing it for ourselves. Personal lifestyle bloggers are the best, and you are no exception. Seriously, you are legit the coolest. x

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  2. aww, thank you Rachel! I'm so glad others agree. Thought I was alone in that, lol. :)

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  3. Always do these things for you. Not only are they more interesting, but honest feelings have a beauty to them too. Your blogging is great, and there's a great strength in what you write. Keep on doing what you're doing! :)

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  4. Thank you so much <3 means a lot that there are people behind me. :) I don't plan to stop!

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  5. I love your blog the way it is and I'm glad you don't intend to follow the more typical/popular blog styles. You're honest, not only to your audience but yourself as well and I think it shows through your posts and that's what I really enjoy about your blog (and even convinced me to start getting into it!) YOU DO YOU DINAHSAUR <3

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  6. aww thank you ♥♥♥♥ I try to be honest :) *SQUISHHHHYYYY*
    i'm so happy you're getting into it!

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  7. I found you on LJ a while ago (I never added you because I don't really use LJ oops hehe) but I found your old blog and then this one and all I have to say is don't ever change. I really enjoy reading your posts and your pictures are inspiring. Being yourself is so much better than trying to be a popular blogger. :3

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  8. Aww, thank you! Means a lot. I'm curious - what was your lj username? Maybe I know of you! :)

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  9. You're blogs are amazing Didi, I love reading themxx

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